Dorothy Wilson

Dorothy Stewart was born January 18, 1914, to Fred and Anna Stewart of Muskogee Oklahoma. By her accounts, Dorothy had a normal childhood, attending school and playing with her two brothers, Paul and Fred. “I was the only girl and I never let anybody forget it either.” After graduating high school, Dorothy went to work at the local drugstore and on November 14, 1932 she married Merle Wilson at the age of 18. Together they had three children, Don, Nancy and Mike. Dorothy later took a job with Sears Roebuck, where she continued to work for many years.   In 1965 her husband, Merle, died after thirty three years of marriage.

It sounds like you raised a good family. What was your secret?

It all starts with the parents. When Merle and I got married, we married for love, but once we were married it was just work, work, work. We were so busy, it never occurred to us to get a divorce. We didn't quarrel a lot, but I could tell when he was mad. We would fight, then kiss and make up. We always tried to work things out between us; I think that's important. You've got to be willing to compromise and work things out. I wasn't much for blasting anybody with a bunch of words when I got mad, so I didn't have a lot to be pardoned for later on.

As far as the kids go, my parents weren't overly strict and I wasn't either. We raised 3 great kids together. We loved them and treated them all the same. We went to church, they never drank or caused any trouble....at least none that I know of! If they had ended up in prison I would've disowned them!

When the war (WWII) broke out, Merle joined the Navy and went to the South Pacific and so I had to do everything without his being there. That was a tough one. I had to take care of the house and the kids and I was working full time. I was more or less a single parent. But as the war was ending, they started sending the men with families home, and that was a good step for me 'cause Merle came home after that. They all went on to have good lives and good families. I'm proud of my kids and I'm thankful that they're still around. They're getting up there in age too, but they're all healthy.

What's it like getting old?

I never thought about growing old, all of a sudden when I got to be about 95 I thought “I'm old!” But I feel very fortunate. I am pretty healthy, I have my memory, I have my family and I am really blessed by the Lord that I can still get around. I've always been independent. I try to stay positive. There's people that you're afraid to ask how they are because they're always grumblin' about something. I don't want to be like that. I think your attitude is everything.

What's your best piece of advice?

Think of other people and not just yourself. Have respect for other people and try to help them.

What was the one thing that caused you the most trouble in your life?

Tryin' to help other people (laughing)! Relatives that were out looking for a job and a place to live probably caused me the most problems, 'cause we'd take 'em in. We didn't have room for 'em but we'd take 'em in. That's just the way people were when I was growing up. You wouldn't turn a relative away. If someone needed something and they couldn't help themselves, we'd do what we could to help, but if they can help themselves it's important to let them do it themselves, otherwise they'll just keep comin' back askin' for more and more. Some people need to learn to grow up and take responsibility.

Do you have any regrets?

Looking back, life goes by fast. You'd better live it while you can. I've led a plain vanilla life.
Marriage, work, kids; God has played an important part in my life too. He watches over me all the time. He's helped with my problems and all.... but there's nothing I would do different.

Do you ever think about dying?

I don't think about dying much. I'm not afraid of it, but there's nothing I can do to head it off. I don't want to go.... but I will. There's nothing I can do about it, so why worry about it? Instead I try to think about living. Life is all about living, and I'm happy for every day I get.

The above photo of Dorothy Wilson perfectly captures the kind of person she was, full of life, laughter and love. Every time I look at that picture, I can't help but smile as I think about the day I met her. Even today,  four years after her death, she makes me smile. Hopefully, one day we will all leave the same amount of joy and laughter in the lives others. God bless you Dorothy.... and thanks for the laughs.  

5000YearsOfWisdom.org

The Fountain of Youth?

I have interviewed more than 90 people over the age of 100 for my book, 5,000 Years of Wisdom, and one thing I have noticed is that every single one of these people have an incredibly positive mental attitude. Some will tell you that it is the secret to a long life, but all of them agree that happiness and a positive attitude are simply a choice. We either choose to be happy....or unhappy. These people have suffered every hardship you can imagine, poverty, cancer, divorce, the death of spouses and children. But yet, when you ask them about their lives, they're happy. In spite of all the hardships, the struggles, the tragedies.....they're happy. Who knows? After 100 years of living, maybe they're onto something.

Read, enjoy, share....and be happy.

Why do you have such a good attitude?

“Why not have a good attitude? It's just as easy to have a good attitude as a bad attitude.

Attitude is a choice, it's a state of mind. You just have to decide to be happy. You have to decide to have a good attitude.” Gloria Jan Mitchell, 104

“Be happy.....and laugh. To laugh and be happy makes your life longer. That's the most important thing in life. It's not the money or the stuff. It's just that I can live and be happy and try to make somebody else happy out there. I want them to feel good about themselves. I'm looking to make other people happy like me. I tell people I am the luckiest man alive....and I believe that! I am the luckiest man alive. I wouldn't trade my life for no one. I love my life just like it is. I don't need money; I have everything I need. I just want to be happy.”

Delmar Hopkins, 105

“I try to stay positive. There's people that you're afraid to ask how they are because they're always grumblin' about something. I don't want to be like that. I think your attitude is everything.”

Dorothy Wilson, 100

“I love my life, from the day I was born to the day I'm going to die. I don't know when that's going to be....but not any time soon! I just love life and I enjoy it. Life is what you make it, I think. You have to have a good attitude and keep your spirits up and think good thoughts. You can find something good in everything that happens to you, or you can find something bad. It's your choice.”

Estelle Thompson, 102

“I've had a good life. It's just as sweet as it can be. I never let nothing worry me. If you let things worry you, you'll never get no where. When worry comes on you again and again, that the devil workin' on you....tryin' to get you. You've got to watch the devil. You've got to have a happy life.”

Richard Overton, 109

“You have to find happiness in life, and without the Lord I don't think you can really find happiness. That's where you'll find your peace. I really believe that. It's simple to me now. For 42 years I didn't have peace, now I do. That's Him, only Him.”

Ethel Brockelbank, 102

“I accept life as it comes. I realize that I can't always be happy, but I try to make the best of it. I've always taken the view that things could always be worse than what I'm in, but I don't worry about it. I take care of what I can, and what I can't take care of, to hell with it. (laughs) My philosophy is pretty simple. Take life as it comes, and enjoy it for what it is. I think what's kept me going is my attitude about life.....otherwise I'm sure I'd be dead by now. Philosophically, I take a positive look on life. You know, I've had some very happy moments and some very, very sad moments but they're part of life. I accept what comes and do the best I can with it. I'm very content with what's happened to me and what's coming to me. I'm not worried what's going to happen to me tomorrow. Today is today, period. What happened yesterday, happened. Some was good, some not so good, but that's that. It happened and I can't change it. I'm fortunate to still be here, but if I drop dead tomorrow, I'll be smiling five minutes before (laughing)! Life has been good, and it continues to be good.... right down to the last minute.”

Frank Hurst, 100

“Life itself is a gift, okay? And you should treat it as such. It's your responsibility to appreciate and to take that gift and do the best you can with it. That would include all the facets of living....you could write a book almost, on all the requirements. I just think you accept the work and the fun and the responsibilities of life and enjoy it.” Lt. Col Richard Cole, 100

“Life is wonderful. It's beautiful. It's just beautiful. I’m having the time of my life. And I think happiness and a good attitude helps. I try to be happy all the time. It's all in the way you think about life. Unhappy people make themselves unhappy. It’s just as easy to be happy instead. You know, you can't worry about everything because you're going to have ups and downs all through life. That’s just the way life is. Take it from me, I'll be 107, and I know.”

Ida Mae Wilson, 106

“Don't Worry, Be Happy”

Bobby McFerrin

612 Years Worth of Marital Wisdom in Five Minutes

In my Book, “5,000 Years of Wisdom”, I asked 88 people over the age of 100 “What is the secret to a successful marriage?” The responses below represent over 612 years worth of experience and wisdom in marriage. You might want to pay attention.

“What is the secret to a successful marriage?”

“If you want a good marriage, you have to love each other. If you love each other that means you’ll take care of each other. We got married for better or worse. Sometimes marriage isn’t easy, but life isn’t easy. When my wife got sick, I took care of her. I had to....I loved her. It wasn’t easy....but I loved her. That’s what you’re supposed to do, take care of each other. That’s the promise you make. People don’t take that seriously enough. If you take those vows and say “I do”, you’d better live up to it.”

Berle Swagerty, 100, married 65 years.

“Mary and I got married when I was 23 years old. We were young and broke and life was hard. We were both so innocent. We didn’t know anything! She had to learn to cook, and how to do sex and everything else! And me too, you know, ‘cause I didn’t know anything either! I didn’t know how we were going to make it work, but we didn't know anything else except to just make it work. There wasn’t any other choice. Oh, we made lots of mistakes over 72 years, but we loved each other and you learn from the mistakes and you keep moving forward. Love goes a long way, you know. If you love someone, you forgive them. Lord knows I needed forgivin' plenty of times. But that's what love does, it forgives.

Dawson Gorman, 103, married 72 years.

Ernie: “You have to know one another and know what each other needs and you do your best to meet those needs. You have to look out for one another and take care of each other, and balance each other out....and be willing to listen to the other person's point of view.”

Dorothy: “You just have to understand the person your living with, their needs and their wants and their ideas and all this kind of stuff. You have to live with people and understand them. You can't be selfish. You have to put the needs of other person above your own.”

Ernie and Dorothy Weeks, ages 102 and 100, combined 135 years of marriage.*

*(This is their second marriage due to the deaths of both their spouses. They have been married to each other for 12 years.)

“You got to make your own happiness. It doesn't just happen by itself; you've got to work at it. Be good to your mate. Don't try to be the boss. You've got to keep in mind that you belong together. It don't go peaceful all the time. Every now and then you're going to disagree, but we didn't fuss or quarrel. We didn't think it was that important. If it was important, we worked it out. Some people tend to get selfish, and that has no place in a marriage. It's ridiculous how some people get mad and fuss and talk ugly to each other if they don't get their own way. That's just being childish. You've got to give a little and take a little. Lloyd and I always talked things through. We talked about the pros and cons, and we settled on what was best. Sometimes his was the best way and sometimes mine was, but there's no sense in quarrelin' about it.”

Eunice Ford, 102, married for 83 years, 191 days, the 19th longest marriage ever recorded.

“You have to learn to give and take. You can't always have it your way. Don't be selfish. Nobody wants to be around someone who's selfish all the time. You have to learn that it's not all about you. And you have to learn to forgive mistakes, 'cause you're both going to make a lot of 'em.”

Vetus VanDerWiele, 106, married 54 years

“The main thing is love. You have to love each other and treat each other like you love them. Love each other, love and kindness, that's the main thing...love. I had a wonderful husband. He was real good to me....maybe because I was so good to him (laughing). If your good to them, they'll be good to you. It's like sowing and reaping. If you sow love, you'll reap love. That's what we did. Our marriage was built on love.”

Ida Mae Wilson, 107, married 49 years.

“We've talked about that, and really, we just respected each other. Problems come along, but we just solved them and went on. We never did let it get to a divorce situation. Most divorces are over money problems, and we didn't have any money problems, because we didn't have any money. We just respected each other.... still do.

Fay Hudson, 100, married 75 years.

“You have to be able to agree on things. If you can't agree, there's nothing else to a marriage. Compromise and working things out together, that's what marriage is all about. When I was a kid and we had arguments, my mother never let us go to bed mad. She'd make us stay up and talk it over. When you finally got tired and sleepy enough, you'd finally agree on something. I think that was a pretty good idea! You've got to learn to get along; otherwise, there's no use being together. My husband and I always got along good. In fact, we married when I was 30.... three weeks after we met!”

Agnes Hahn, 102, married 35 years.

“You see, you're gonna have differences, but you've got to be willing to cooperate and work things out. Some people are so selfish, and they think they always have to be right. Well, everybody has different opinions about things, and you can't always argue that my way is right and yours is wrong. Would you want to be married to someone like that? I guess it comes back to the Golden Rule; treat others the way you'd like to be treated.”

Beulah Mae Winter, 103, married 44 years.

  

About the Author

 Paul Roden is an entrepreneur, writer and speaker.  He has literally devoted years of his life in the pursuit and study of wisdom in an effort to improve not only his life, but also the lives of others.  Paul speaks to a wide variety of audiences about wisdom and how it impacts our lives, our relationships, our finances and even our businesses and careers.  From churches and faith-based events, to business and management programs, and especially schools and youth events, Paul will show you why wisdom is truly “more valuable than gold....more precious than rubies.”  Paul and his wife, Kate, have been happily married for 23 years and live in Oklahoma City. 

For more information or to book a speaking engagement, contact Paul at 405-549-3984 or visit  https://www.facebook.com/WisdomResearchGroup

Berle Swagerty

At first glance, Mr. Swagerty appeared to be a gruff, grumpy  old man.  As I introduced myself, he said “Well what do you want?”  I explained how I wanted to interview him about the wisdom and experiences of his life.  He just grumbled something under his breath.  At that moment, a young nurse walked through the door to see if he needed anything.  “I  just want to be left alone!”  he replied in a grumpy tone.   Shocked and visibly upset, she left.  Then, looking at me, he commented, “Oh, you're still here?”  Looking downward, he watched for my reaction out of the corner of his eye.  Then I saw it; a mischievous little grin appeared. I was being tested.   I stated that I just wanted to visit with him about his life, or he could sit there by himself all day.... his choice.  “Well, I guess you can stay,” he replied.  I had passed the test.

 

 

Berle Arthur Swagerty was born on February 5, 1908 in Rocky, Oklahoma. Together, he and his wife, Fredia, had two children, Jeanne and Jim. Fredia passed away in 2000. Berle worked as a public school teacher for 46 years, teaching industrial arts, and attended college during his summer breaks to further his education. After 13 years he earned a bachelor’s degree in education from Oklahoma State University, and four more years of part-time college earned him his master’s degree. He was the first in his family to ever attend college.

After being a teacher for 46 years, what do you think about education?

I believe that education is important, but then, I’m a teacher. Education helps to prepare

you for not only for your career, but also for life. Back in my day, most people didn’t go

to college. You were lucky if you even got to finish high school. Maybe that's why those were such hard times. These days, a good education is necessary. If you’re not educated, an employer won’t even look at you. It may be the only difference between a good job and minimum wage.

How much education do you think you need?

Well I guess it depends of what you want to do. Education is a life long process. You never really stop learning, and you don’t get it all at once. I went to school each summer for 13 years to get my college degree, and four more to get my master's. It was that important to me. It helped me be a better teacher, and it helped me to provide better for my family. Sure, it took me a long time.... but I got it. Now days you've got to keep learning. Things are changing so fast, technology and such. If you stop learning the whole world will just fly right past you and leave you behind. I think these days, education is more important than ever. One thing about knowledge, it's the best investment you can ever make, and it’s the only thing that no one can take away from you.

How long were you married to your wife Fredia?

Sixty-five years.

So what was your secret?

If you want a good marriage, you have to love each other. If you love each other that

means you’ll take care of each other. We got married for better or worse. Sometimes

marriage isn’t easy, but life isn’t easy. When my wife got sick, I took care of her. I had

to; I loved her. It wasn’t easy, but I loved her. That’s what you’re supposed to do, take

care of each other. That’s the promise you make. People don’t take that seriously

enough. If you take those vows and say “I do”, you’d better live up to it.

Tell me about how you managed your money.

Well for one thing, we worked hard to make ends meet. We had to. Sometimes I had to get a second job, or three jobs. I had to provide for my family; it was my responsibility. I had to do whatever was necessary to put food on the table. They were depending on me.

Another thing was, we never spent more than we made. That gets people in trouble. If we couldn’t afford it, we didn’t buy it. If something’s paid for, they can’t come and take it away.

And I always tried to save money. Each month I would take a little bit out of each check and

put it in savings. You never know when you’re going to need it. My wife (laughing) used to get

mad at me because I would put money in the bank instead of letting her go out and buy

things. But then when she got sick, we had the money we needed to take care of her. We didn’t have to go into debt to pay her medical bills. I sure was glad that I had saved all those years.

One day (crying), not long before she died, she took my hand and she smiled at me and told me that now she knew why I had saved all that money. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't been able to take care of her. You never know what life's gonna throw at you; you’d better be

prepared.

What is the greatest lesson you ever learned?

The biggest lesson I ever learned was to respect your elders. By that I mean listen to

them and learn from them. They have been where you are and they know how to handle

the problems that you’re going through. I wish I had listened more. It would’ve saved

me a lot of trouble. That lesson applies to your whole life. There’s always someone older

and wiser than you that has already been through what you’re going through. You need to

find those people and listen to them. Most young folks think that us old folks don’t know

what we’re talking about. They think they know it all, so they don’t need to listen to

anyone else. I was like that. I sure wished I had listened more. My life would’ve been a whole

lot easier.

Do you ever think about dying?

Yeah, I think about dying a lot. I’m sure my days are numbered here. You never know

what’s going to happen, whether it will be easy or hard, but that’s the way life is,

sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s not. That’s life. I’m not afraid of it, that doesn’t

matter, it’s going to happen anyway.

What do you think happens after we die?

I don’t know what will happen after I die, nobody does I guess. Sometimes I think I’ve got things figured out, but the more I think about it, the more I don’t know. Just make sure your life counts for something. Because someday, it’ll be too late.

What do you think your life counted for?

Well I think it counted for my family, my wife and my boys. And I think I mattered to some of my students. I had a lot of students over 46 years. I'd like to think that I made a difference to a few of them. I'm sure I could've done a lot more good than I did, but it's too late now. Maybe I should've worked harder at that....I don't know. Everybody wants their life to count, but it's not gonna happen by accident.

Berle Swagerty's life counted, to me personally, and to countless students and teachers over his 46 year career. Mr. Swagerty was the first interview I did when I started this book project. I didn't know what to expect from him or the others I would interview. I certainly wasn't prepared to cry with him as he told me about his wife dying. The gruff old man that I initially greeted changed into one of the most beautiful human beings I've ever met when he opened his heart and shared with me the most intimate moments of his life. I came for an interview, I left with a friend and a mentor.

Shortly after this interview, Berle Swagerty died on January 14, 2008, just 22 days before his 100^th birthday. It was my intention to only include people over 100 years old in this book. However, because of his proximity to 100 years, his practical wisdom, and the impact he made on my life, I simply couldn't exclude him. After all, true wisdom is ageless. Thank you Mr. Swagerty, your certainly made a difference in my life.

“Everybody wants their life to count,

but it's not gonna happen by accident.”

Berle Swagerty

Lillie Segar

Lillie Louise Phillips was born March 9, 1908 in Meadowvale, Ontario to English immigrant parents just eight months after they had settled in Canada. Growing up poor in a family of eight children, Lillie's childhood was difficult.  “We would walk along the railway tracks, picking up pieces of coal just to heat our home.” Lillie attended school through the sixth grade before dropping out to go to work and help care for the family and her sick mother.  In 1927 she met Art Seager, whom she  married at age  27, after dating him for eight years.  Together they had two children, Richard and Arthurlyn. Life continued to be a struggle for the family, but through hard work and determination, they managed to survive. After losing a leg and a foot to diabetes, Art died in 1974 after 39 years of marriage.  Lillie continued to work until retiring at age 69, but remained active in various civic groups and social activities

You said life was hard?

Life was hard. When I was a little girl, we didn't even have enough blankets on our beds to keep us warm, so we'd cover up with newspapers. Sometimes we would go to the Stuart Street coke ovens and pick up coke in potato sacks to drag home. Coke is kind of like coal, we used it to heat our home. My brother Richard and I had to walk two miles just to get water to drink, and in the winter, we would have to pull it home on a sleigh. One winter my brother made a harness for the dog and the dog would pull the sleigh home with the copper boiler pot full of water. But the toughest thing was when my brother Richard died. He was only 18. It broke my heart so much. When we laid the casket I said to myself, “If I ever get married and I have a little boy I'd name him after my brother,” and I did. My son's name is Richard.

So how did you deal with all those struggles?

We just did what we had to do to survive. We didn't have any money, so whatever we needed, it was up to us. If we needed coal for heat, we walked the railway tracks until we found enough. If we needed water, we'd walk two miles to the well to get it. When my mother took sick, I quit school to take care of her and the family. After I got married, we worked as janitors looking after eight apartments and two stores, scrubbing stairways and hallways on my hands and knees. It was hard, we never really had much any money, but we managed. We just did whatever we had to do to make it.

So how did you manage your money?

I never had any money to manage. My friends would say “Lillie, let's sit and have a cup of tea.” I wouldn't spend ten cents for a cup of tea; I couldn't afford it. I didn't have a car; I walked everywhere I went. I wouldn't even take the bus because it cost money. All I ever got was minimum wage. I didn't save. I didn't have any money to save. 

 

What would you tell your grandchildren about money?

First of all, get a good education. Education is very important. And you've got to be willing to work hard. I worked hard all my life. I started working at age 15 for .25 cents an hour and worked until I was 69. Today kids get far too much without having to work for it; it spoils them. When I was little, we had one toy and we would take off our stockings from our feet and hang them for Santa. We'd get a an apple and an orange and Daddy would always put a lump of coal in our stockings. I still have it! I never threw it away! Children today don't know what it means to work hard and go without things.

You said education is important. Why?

I was so cross-eyed that mother kept me home so I didn't start school til I was seven. Later when I was 13, mother took sick and I missed a lot of schoolin' to take care of her and keep house. When I was 15 I quit school to go to work and go to a technical school one day a week. They asked me what I wanted to take, hairdressing or typewriting. I said, “What's typewriting?” I would've loved to have taken typewriting but I didn't know what it meant! I was dumb.

My kids would come home with homework and I couldn't help them. I didn't know the answers myself. I never learned nothin' in school, but I had a hunger to learn and I taught myself everything I know. I joined the Knights of Pythias, and that is what educated me. When they initiated me the President stood up and spoke, and she didn't even look at her book! She recited it all from memory. I said to myself, if I could do that I'd give a million dollars. From that day every office I took, I memorized every book I had. The Pythian Order educated me. Everything I know I owe them, and I still belong today. I wish I had gotten a good education. I think if I had gotten an education, I could have gone a lot further in life.

What's the most important thing in life?

Helping other people. I help everybody. I'd want somebody to help me if I couldn't do it myself. After I got married, I took care of my mother for 23 years. There were eight of us kids and none of the others would take her. They wouldn't even help with her expenses. My brother Jack took my sisters to court to try to make them pay towards her keep but they appealed and the judge said at that time girls don't have to pay to keep their mother, only boys had to pay. But none of them ever paid, not even Jack. I didn't have any money but I did the best I could. As we left court that day, Mom cried to think that out of eight kids none would take care of her. I said, “Mom I'll do it.” I had to do it.

What is your best piece of advice about life?

Treat others like you'd like to be treated. People aren't born all the same. Some people are born thoughtful and other people are born thoughtless, but I always give them the benefit of the doubt. Many times they were so wrong, but I just kept my mouth shut. I never fight with anybody. Nobody wins an argument.

Do you think about dying?

I don't mind if the Lord took me tomorrow. I just pray that the Lord takes me before the old devil gets me! I'm not afraid of dying. We all gotta die sometime. I hope the Lord can take me without there being any suffering, that's all. That's all I pray for.

The Lord took Lillie Seager on November 19, 2010 at the age of 101. She left behind 2 children, 4 grandchildren, 3 great- grandchildren, and a countless others whose lives she had touched. Her mantra was, “Never sit when you can stand, stand when you can walk, and walk when you can dance.” She was still dancing, albeit with her walker, just two months before she died. God bless you Lillie. You are missed.

Frank Hurst

Francis John Hurst was born May 16, 1914 in Paris, France, two months before the outbreak of WWI.  Following the war, Frank and his family led a normal life, working and attending school. He graduated high school in 1932 and attended one year of college before going to work as a pilot, surveying and mapping western Africa.
“ I caught malaria and was pronounced dead two times!” In 1934, he moved to England where he met and married  his wife Lila.  When WWII broke out in 1939, Frank enlisted in the British army and was assigned to the British Army Intelligence Corp.  Due to his knowledge of the French language, culture and landscape, Frank became an aid to General Dwight Eisenhower and was instrumental in the planning and execution of the D-Day invasions.  Several days after D-Day, he parachuted into France to continue planning the allied invasion and the liberation of Paris.  “I'm not a hero.  I wasn't in combat, but I like to think that I helped save a few lives.”   Following the war, Frank went to work at Kodak Ltd.  In 1957, the company transferred him to Canada, where he continued to work until retiring.  In 2010, his wife Lila died after 76 years of marriage. 

You seem to be in a very good mood?

I've had a happy life. I've been very, very lucky. I don't think anyone could have had a better life than mine. I've had adventure, joy, sorrow; I've had everything. It's been good, and I'm so happy with my life now. I'm very, very fortunate, and I have quite a good philosophy of life I think.

What is that philosophy? Contentment. Taking things one day at a time and not getting too serious about unfortunate mishaps.

But a lot of people aren't happy with their life. What makes you so happy?

Because I accept life as it comes. I realize that I can't always be happy, but I try to make the best of it. I've always made the best of every circumstance I've been in, whether I've been in danger, or in personal situations or what have you. I've always tried to make the best of it. I've always taken the view that things could always be worse than what I'm in, but I don't worry about it. I take care of what I can, and what I can't take care of, to hell with it. (laughs) My philosophy is pretty simple. Take life as it comes, and enjoy it for what it is. And it's been the story of my life.

Did that philosophy help you when you wife died?

Oh very much so. When my wife passed away, that was hard. I didn't realize how much I was in love and how much I'd missed her. When she passed away, there was an immense void (pointing to his heart). I remember going to the funeral; that was terrible. I thought that was the end of everything. When I kneeled in front of her coffin, to me, it was the end of the world. I thought that was the end of my life. Then, the day after, I realized it wasn't.

How did you get through that?

I just took it one day at a time. It took me awhile, but gradually I adjusted. I began to realize that I was still around, and I had to make the best of my life. That's always been my attitude. I take the view that I am very fortunate to be alive. What has happened, has happened and there's nothing I can do about it....and what's going to happen, will happen. Like today, if something happens, I take the best that I can out of it. I don't dwell on the past and groan about my misfortune. What's the point of that? It is what it is. If I die tomorrow I've had a good life, if I live on, I'll still have a good life.

Do you have any regrets?

I've never consciously tried to do the wrong thing. I've never been cruel by intention, but I have unintentionally hurt people and I regret that. I had a very good marriage, but I was unfaithful. It was just a passing thing, you know. That was it, but I regret that now. I was ashamed because my wife was a very, very decent woman. She knew something was going on, but she never played around. Eventually, she forgave me and we had a very good relationship, but if I could go back, I wouldn't do it. I'd be faithful because I hurt her. All that did was hurt people.

To what do you attribute your long life?

I think what's kept me going is my attitude about life.....otherwise I'm sure I'd be dead by now.

I'm a very fortunate man in every way. I've got my wits, I've got my health, I've got good friends, I've got a nice girlfriend, my two daughters stay in touch with me.....I've got good relationships. I'm enjoying life. Philosophically, I take a positive look on life. You know, I've had some very happy moments and some very, very sad moments but they're part of life. I accept what comes and do the best I can with it. I'm very content with whats happened to me and what's coming to me. My health has been really good. I don't drink much, but I do like the odd nip. I think I was drunk once back in the army, and I was so sick I swore I'd never do it again. I'm very moderate with everything I do. I used to smoke, but not heavily. I eat what I like, but I don't eat things that are bad for me. My father lived to 102, and my mother lived to 97, so I've got good genes. I'm not worried about being sick. If I die tomorrow, I've had a good life. If I live another ten years, that's fine. I'm not worried about it. Que sera, sera...What will be, will be. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Today is today. All in all, I would be described as a very contented person. I'm happy up here. (pointing to his head) That's more important than down here (pointing to his heart), but I'm quiet happy here too. Mental attitude is what does it.... I think that's what keeps me going.

Do you ever think about dying?

Oh no. Not at all. I'm going to live forever (laughing). No....I never think about dying. Sometimes when I'm ill I feel concerned, but that's it. I've never thought about actually croaking. I think that's what's keeping me alive. I'm not worried what's going to happen to me tomorrow. Today is today, period. What happened yesterday, happened. Some was good, some not so good, but that's that, it happened and I can't change it. I'm fortunate to still be here, but if I drop dead tomorrow, I'll be smiling five minutes before (laughing)! Life has been good, and it continues to be good.... right down to the last minute.

Are you afraid of dying?

Nope! If I die tomorrow, I die tomorrow. That's it. Honestly I've had a very good life, and I'm very happy and I'm contented. I never think about either going to heaven, or down there (pointing downward). To me it will be just a termination, but I won't be thinking about where I'm going.

So do you believe in God?

Oh yeah. I don't consider myself a religious person but I have beliefs. I'm not a church goer per say.... but I'll go now and again....but I'm not registered as a member. I think you can be faithful without being religious. I think faith is God-made while religion is man-made. I've done some good things and some bad things but by and large I think I lived a very very good, interesting, happy life and I think I'll make it for a few more years (smiling).

Today, Frank lives in a retirement center in southern Ontario. “I have two daughters, three grandchildren and one great grandchild. I'm a very, very fortunate man.” Of all the people I have interviewed, I don't think I have ever met another person with such a positive mental attitude. His philosophy on life has fundamentally changed the way I view events in my own life. Let's face it, life happens.....and many times there is nothing we can do about it. The best we can hope for is to change the things we can, and accept the things we can't. Sometimes life is unfair, I can't change that, so all I can do is look for the best in each situation and move on. I know it sounds simpler than it really is, but Frank Hurst is proof that it works. Thank you, Frank, for the wisdom. You have changed my life.

Below is a link to an audio interview of Frank talking about World War II. It is definitely worth listening to.

http://www.thememoryproject.com/stories/1022:frank-j.-hurst/

 Ora Holland

 

Ora Holland at her 112th birthday party.

Ora Reed was born December 24, 1900 to Nathan and Stella Reed of Rosebud Missouri who recorded the event in the family Bible. “That's the way we did it back then. I never had a birth certificate.”  The third of twelve children, Ora attended school in a one room school house and suffered numerous health problems as a young girl. “They told me I wouldn't live to age 10, but look at me now!”  At age 22 she married Thomas Holland and had two children; one died at birth.  After 18 years of marriage, she and Thomas divorced and she never remarried. As a single mother with only an eighth grade education, she worked at a shipyard during World War II to make ends meet, stating, “I was Rosie the Riveter, but that was a long time ago”  Later she started and ran her own beauty shop for 12 years and then started her own childcare business which she operated for ten years. “It was a lot of work, but I did alright.”

Ora celebrated her 100^th birthday by buying a new car which she used to drive herself to the store and to church each week until age 108. “A policeman gave me a speeding ticket last year and I decided it was time for me to stop driving. Besides, I can't see like I used to.”

At the time of this interview, Ora was 108 years old. Strong physically, mentally and fiercely independent, she was still living by herself in her own home, doing her own cooking, cleaning and even mowing the lawn! “I plan on doing for myself as long as the Lord will let me.”

You were a single mother and business owner with an 8^th grade education. How did you learn to manage your money?

Well, I just learned, just like you learn. Somebody didn't poke it down you did they? You learn it by doing it. That's how everybody learns. When I left my husband, I got out without anything. That was way back when salaries wasn't much and we didn't have much either. My parents never helped me with a dime, but I was used to hard work; I was raised on a farm. So I went and found a job in the shipyards and finally started making some money. It wasn't much, but it was enough to get by. Then once you get it, just don't spend it. You best start saving it. You know, when salaries were good, people thought their money was going to last forever. They spent it instead of putting it in the bank and saving it for a rainy day. That's why so many people today are in trouble and wondering if they're going to lose their homes, because they didn't save their money.

I've got a couple of grandchildren that's doing the same thing and I'm having to help them. My granddaughter and her husband own three cars. That's not necessary....not necessary at all. Then my grandson bought a new car and then bought this great big television. They need that like I need a hole in the head! They need to learn to save their money instead of just blowing it on everything that they see and want. They don't need all of those things.

What are they going to have in the future? They're going to be in trouble need help and Grandma's going to be gone. You've got to learn to save money 'cause you never know what's going to happen or when you might need it. Trust me, I know!

After 108 years of living, what advice can you give me about making my life count?

Help others. That's what our Bible says, help others. Everybody needs a little help every now and then. It doesn't necessarily have to be money. During the depression, some folks needed food and clothing and such. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to.

I've been helping for a good many years. I guess is what I'm here for. We should all be willing help each other. That's what God says for us to do. If you want to live a good life, go find somebody to help.

You mentioned God. Do you believe in God?

I sure do. I know there's a God and Jesus is His son. He means everything to me. He's taken care of me my whole life. I guess when I was young I didn't think too much about God, not like I do today. I depend on Him. I'll tell you something, if you don't believe in God and believe that Jesus is His son, there's no use you do anything else. That is a must, to believe in God and Jesus, because if you don't, nothing else matters.

I don't think I've made it all these years by myself. I think He's there taking care of me. I think that as long as we do what He says for us to do, that He's going to watch out for us and take care of us until He's ready to take us home. He says none of us are perfect. I try to be honest with everybody but I know I haven't been perfect (laughs), but He loves me anyway. God's been helpful to me my whole life. He's helpful to everybody.... if they want help.

If you believe in God, then do you ever think about heaven?

Sure I think about it. Heaven's on my mind a lot of times. I'm not afraid of the hereafter, but just going through that death stage kind of worries me. I can't say that I'm really afraid of it, I just kind of dread going through the misery and all that stuff, but God will take care of me; He always has. One things for certain; we all die. There's no gettin' around it.

It might be a long time from now and it might be a short time. We just don't know....but you'd better be ready.

Recently (May, 2013), I was able to go visit Ora Holland again at the retirement center where she now lives. She is now 113 years old and is currently the 14^th oldest living person in the world, and the 9^th oldest living American. “I can't be that old.....I don't feel that old.” “How old do you feel”, I ask. She replied “I only feel about 105!”

Her daughter Ruth is now gone, along with the rest of her family. Her grandson looks after her now and visits often, but it is obvious that she longs for the old days. “I'm the only one left,” she states. It is sad to see her lonely, living in a place she'd rather not be. At 113, she still gets around be herself, but like her eyesight, her memory is fading. “I can't remember things like I used to,” she says, struggling to recall her husband's name.

It is hard to grasp the concept of living for 113 years. To put it in perspective, she has been alive for almost 1 million hours. She will reach that milestone January 21, 2015 which will make her one of the top 100 verified oldest of the 108 billion people born over the course of human history.¹ She was born before the radio was invented, before plastic was invented, before Henry Ford produced the first car, before the Wright brothers flew the first airplane at Kittyhawk. She was a teenager when World War I broke out. The mode of transportation in her lifetime has gone from a horse and buggy to supersonic jets and space shuttles. That's a lot of changes in 113 years. It makes you wonder about the changes we'll see in our lifetimes.

Ora Holland passed away February 11, 2015 at the age of 114 years and 49 days. At the time of her death, she was the ninth oldest living American, and at the 15^th oldest person in the world.² You can learn more about Ora Holland at the links below. God bless you Ora, you were truly one of a kind.

http://www.sliceok.com/November-2014/Memories-of-a-Lifetime-The-Oldest-Oklahoman/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_supercentenarians_from_the_United_States

Ora Holland and her daughter

1 http://www.sliceok.com/November-2014/Memories-of-a-Lifetime-The-Oldest-Oklahoman/

2Gerontology Research Group

Edna Sims

 Edna Sims

Edna Greenway was born to Edmund and Lela Greenway on September 17, 1912 in Ashdown, Arkansas. Growing up with two sisters and one brother, she got the best education she could. “Back in my day we didn't have no school; they just taught you what they knew at home. We didn't have a schoolhouse for colored people in Ashdown 'til 1923.  I got to the sixth grade, that's all I got.”  In those days, life was hard for black people, especially in a southern state. “Lord have mercy honey.... We were poor! Every child that lived with a black family had to work. We did everything that poor people had to do.... cookin', sweepin', picked cotton, chopped cotton, and everything else.... whatever we had to do to make a livin' .” In 1928 she married Leonard Owens. Together they had one son before he left in 1929. In 1931 she had a daughter, and in 1933 married Tommy Sims. They were married 52
 years when he died in 1985.

Edna had a hard life, “I was lonely, hungry, and homeless.... And then I got with the Barbee's.” Edna took a job as a cook, housekeeper and nanny for the Barbee family. They had a profound impact on her life. “The Barbee's took me in like I was one of them. They treated me like a human being. I learned all my education from the Barbee's... mmm hmm...they taught me everything I know. I love them white people 'cause they was good to me!” She continued to work, throughout her life, doing whatever was needed to make ends meet. “I even worked for Bonnie and Clyde...the gangsters!.....did some house cleanin' for 'em.....and them suckers didn't even pay me!” Today Edna still lives by herself in her own home, “still raisin' hell!”

Tell me what life was like when you were a little girl.

Ashdown was a little ol' bitty place. Everybody raised cotton...picked cotton... chopped cotton. They'd raise their own garden; they raised their own meats and things. They had slaves. I remember slavery times back down there where I was raised.

They still had slavery when you were a little girl?

Mmm hmm. I went through it. They had slavery down there where I lived. I had an uncle that worked with some of them people, and there was three families of poor people that had never been to town.

They couldn't come to town. They had a homestead, they had a church, and they had a graveyard. And all them black folks stayed on it, and they worked in the fields, and they all wore the same kind of clothes. Children didn't go to school and all that stuff. That was slavery.

Then when the war broke out, the depression started, and that's when a lot of people lost their money and the banks and all that. And that's when they let the black folks be free and go where they wanted to go.

So you're saying those three black families were still owned by someone?

Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about! They were owned! Everybody! 

 

But I thought slavery ended after the civil war.

No, no. That war didn't mean a thing. They were just like they was before it changed. When I come in the world, it was still the same.... it was harder. Some of the people had owners that was good to 'em, and some owners weren't. They'd beat you to death and all that bit. When I was a girl in Ashdown, you couldn't even walk on the sidewalk. If a white person was coming down that side....you'd best get in the ditch.

So you didn't grow up in slavery, but you had family that did?

Mmm hmm. They didn't get set free 'til I come up here in '31. All them white people, they had horses and cows and all that stuff, and when the banks failed there was a lot of poor folks and poor white folks too. That's when we got more friendly with the white people. It changed 'cause the white people were just like us, tryin' to find 'em a job anywhere.

So you've seen a lot of injustice in your life.

Yeah....I've been there. I've seen things happen that sometimes make me wanna cry. We had a hard life. Black people had a long, hard life when I was coming up. It was terrible. Some of them white people were real cruel to you, some of 'em were nasty. It's the same thing today, some good people and some bad. They was just that'a way.

When the black school got started, two girls come to town, just young teachers, just got out of school themselves. They didn't know nothin' about our town. And one day they was walkin' down the sidewalk and these white girls told 'em to get off the sidewalk and pushed 'em....knocked 'em down. And the police come down there and beat them girls, and they left and never did come back. That's what I lived through. You feared for your life, but yet you had a good life in a way. We had a hard life. We didn't have the freedoms that they got now, and I think if they'd had the freedoms they got now it would've been a better place. It was bad, it was really bad. They just had hate in 'em. There was some mean ones, some mean white ones and some mean black ones..... all races. I think some of that still goes on today, but it's different today than it was then.

I'm gonna tell you something. I hate it, but I'm gonna tell you. When I was a little girl, two white men come and raped my auntie in front of my uncle all night....and he couldn't say a word. They wouldn't do nothing anyway! A lot of that went on back then. They were just mean people, just mean....just mean!

How do you forgive people for things like that?

Well... Say you hate me 'cause your white and I'm black. You don't know any more about me than I know about you, but you might do something to me, or I might do something to you that's hateful, and if you let that linger inside you, it'll eat you up. But if you and I get together and we talk it over, or if you go your way and I go mine, it's over. That's it. Let it go. I've had things happen to me, and I go over it and think about what I'd done and how I'd treated them. Then I'd ask the Lord to forgive me for what I did, and I let it go.

How do you let something like that go?

As long as they didn't put their hands on you or nothing..... it didn't hurt you. I might get mad, and I think about it for a while....then something inside tells me to pray over it and forget it and get on with life. It'll hurt a while, but finally, it'll go away from you. He (pointing upward) won't let it come back to you. He'll stay with you. If you think through it and see what you did wrong and what they did wrong, He'll show you if you're right or not, and that's it. I'm fine, you ain't done nothin' to me. You the one hurtin'; I ain't. I've had people do things to me, and I laugh about it; I don't care. I just go on 'bout my business. That's just how I feel about it. 

Did you go to school?

Back in my day, we didn't have no school like they do now. We didn't have a schoolhouse for colored people in Ashdown 'til 1923. I had an uncle and an auntie that was teachers and they just taught you what they knew at home. Later on, they taught us at the church. My uncle and another lady was teachin' us and that's all the school I had. We got to the sixth grade; that's all I got. I learnt myself, and the Barbee's learnt me. I learned all my education from the Barbee's... mmm hmm...they taught me everything I know. When I come I was lonely, hungry, and homeless. And Ms. Barbee's momma, she hired me and she taught me a lot. I kept house, cooked, cleaned, and looked after all them white children. To them, I wasn't black or white....I was Edna.

So you've got a sixth grade education and you've been poor most all your life.

Mmmm hmmm.

How did you manage your money?

I worked whatever job I needed to, to make ends meet. I even worked for Bonnie and Clyde...the gangsters!.....did some house cleanin' for 'em.....and them suckers didn't even pay me! But I was honest. Didn't nobody have to run me down to pay a bill. If I owe my bills, I pay my bills. Out of all my money, even if I don't have nary a dime left, I'm gonna pay my bills, and I'm gonna be free. If you owe somebody, you're gonna be worried....I don't want to go through that kind of stuff.

I got thru all these hard times by working hard....doing whatever you had to do, and by being honest. That made people trust you, so they would give you credit, or they would help you out, or they would hire you because they trusted you with their children and everything else. I could get a job anytime I wanted one. I never did borrow more than I could pay back. I never was one of these kind that would take my money and go buy something else when I know I owed you. I'm gonna pay you first. I'm gonna pay anybody I owe!

One day I decided I wanted to buy a house, so I went to savin' a little bit at a time. Before you knew it, I'd saved up $650, and I used it on a down payment on this little ol' house. That's how I got a home.

What are you most thankful for?

There's a lot of things....a lot of things. I thank Ms. Barbee. I thank them white people. I love them white people, 'cause they was good to me. They treated me like a human being. I had a good life. The Barbees took me in like I was one of them.

Do you have any regrets?

No I don't guess so, 'cause I always did what I wanted. If I had it in my mind to do it, I did it. If it takes me two or three days or a year, if I had in mind mind to do it, I did it. I stayed by myself, and I did things for myself to please me. I didn't try to please other people. There's no sense in that. But there's a whole lot I wished I didn't do! (laughing).

Like what?

I've been bad, I've been bad. I did sin and I did things that I didn't have no business doin',

So you believe in God?

My life is with God.

What's it like being 100 years old?

Ooh honey....you don't wanna be old! It's hard. You don't ever wanna be old, not this kinda old. I can't do what I want to. When I was 60, I was goin' and doin' whatever I wanted to. I was doin' alright 'til I got 99 years old. I broke down when I got to 99. I was doin' fine! Whenever I wanted to do something I'd just get up and do it, I ain't got time to be sittin' 'round lookin' ugly! Do 'til you can't, and I just did 'til I couldn't anymore.

Do you ever think about dying?

Yeah! (laughing) I was thinking about that today! Lord, “How come I'm still livin'?'' (laughing) I do. I think about dyin'.

Does it scare you?

Uh uh.(no) I'm not scared. When I was younger I was scared of dead people, but when I got older I saw so many people dyin' and I seen how death is and now I just live to die. That's what they tell you, live to die. I hope He comes and gets me and be good to me.

What is your best piece of advice?

Be happy. Love the folks that hate you. Take care of 'em. Be good to 'em.

It's hard for me to understand the kind of hate and discrimination Edna and others had to endure. What's even harder to understand is how Edna not only forgives those people, she loves them! “Love the folks that hate you. Take care of 'em. Be good to 'em.” That almost makes no sense to me. People hate you, look down on you, discriminate against you, abuse you.... and in return.... you love them?

It make no logical sense, but then again, love is not logical. It amazes me that in a self-centered world

of experts, diplomats and scholars, a poor black woman with a sixth grade education is the one who's got it all figured out. Maybe we've got the wrong people running things. God bless you Edna.