Millard Gaddie

Millard Wesley Gaddie was born June 8, 1902 in Campbellsville, Kentucky to Thomas and Cora Gaddie.  “My father was a farmer and my mother raised us kids.” He had a normal upbringing for children of that period, attending school and working on the farm after school and in the summers. When Millard was 13, his father bought a Model T Ford, and packed up everything the they could fit in it and moved the family to Sherman, Texas.  “There weren’t any highways in those days, so we had to use a guidebook and compass to navigate our way on the dirt roads.”  In the evenings they would pull up to an old farmhouse and ask to spend the night in their barn.  “Folks would always welcome us in and feed us dinner.”  The next morning they would wake up, pack up the car, and off  they'd go again.  “It took us 10 days to get there!  Folks sure were a lot nicer back in those days.”

Were you ever married?

“Oh yeah! I was married for a long time....but not all of it to the same woman. My first wife's name was Ruth. She was a good woman and we had three daughters together, Nadine, Mildred and Lavita. We were married for 51 years when she died of a heart attack. That was tough. I really loved her. I never thought I'd get married again, but then I met my second wife. Her name was Leola. She was a good woman too until she died. We were married for 33 years.

So you were married a total of 84 years?

Yep.

What's the secret?

Well, it's not really a secret. You see, when it comes to marriage, the first thing you do is find out that you’re not the boss (laughing). Marriage is a two-way street you see. You have to give and let give. You can’t always have your way all the time. The other person has needs and wants too, you know. You’ve got to respect other people’s rights. That’s what I did. It takes two people getting along to make a marriage work. One person can't make it work all by themselves. It doesn't work like that. It takes two to make it work. If you're selfish all the time and she's selfish all the time, what kind of marriage is that? But if you work to take care of her, and she works to take care of you, then you've got something good. That's what marriage is, two people working to take care of each other. And believe me, it's work! But it's all worth it. My marriages were the best years of my life.

You mentioned that life was tough back then. How did you deal with it?

“Well you see, we went through The Great Depression, and times were hard. I worked as a barber, and we got 35 cents for a haircut, and 20 cents for a shave. Well, when the depression hit, we got down to 15 cents for a shave and 25 cents for a haircut. It was hard to make a living, so I had to go out and get second job. I learned how to hang wallpaper, and lots of people wanted some wallpaper hung in those days. So I'd cut hair all day, then I’d go out at night and hang paper. Then along about the late ‘20s, cured meat come in, you know, home-cured hams and such. I lived in a small town, and so nearly everybody had a cow or a chicken or a hog to kill, you see, so I did that. I cured a lot of meat. I did a lot of things like that. I did whatever I had to do to make ends meet. I had to; I had a family to feed. Later I owned my own barber shop, and that was a lot of work too! It was a lot of work, but you do whatever you've got to do to provide for your family. I never asked the government for anything, and I never owed anyone I didn’t pay, and even today, I don’t have any debts.

So how did you manage your money?

If we didn’t have money to pay for something, then we just didn’t get it. We had to do without a lot of things, but we made it alright. Some people just can’t imagine doing without things. Now days if they want something, they go buy it and they’ll figure out how to pay for it later. Problem is, sometimes they can’t pay for it, and they get into trouble. Have you seen all these people losing their houses here lately? They bought things that they couldn’t afford, and now they’re losing it all. They need to learn how to say no and start saving their money. Sure, there was lot’s of nice things that I would’ve liked to have had, but I didn’t just go out and buy it all. How are these people ever going to retire if they never save any money? You'd better start saving. Believe me, retirement is expensive. And if you're not prepared for it, then how are you ever going to retire? I guess they’re all going to expect the government to take care of them. But sooner or later, they’ll regret it.

“One last question. After 105 years of living, what is the most important thing life?”

You see that picture (pointing to a photo of a young woman in a white dress)? That was my wedding day, and that's my Ruthie. She was so beautiful. It was the happiest day of my life. And you see that one (pointing to another photo)? Those are my three girls. That must have been around 1930. And that one over there (pointing to yet another photo)?

Mr. Gaddie pointed out every photo hanging on the walls and told me a short story about each one. As he rambled, I began to think that he had forgotten my question, but he had a big smile on his face as he talked about the past. Then he said:

You asked me what the most important thing in life is? It's simple. It's the memories you make and the people you love. No one can ever take that away from you.

His words hit me like a sledge hammer. Here I was sitting in a retirement home with this little old man surrounded by his only remaining worldly possessions, a bed, a dresser, a chair, a television and some old photographs. Everything else was gone. The cars, the homes, the businesses, the clothes, the stuff, everything.... all gone. Everything he had worked his entire life for had been whittled down to what would fit into this one room. In the blink of an eye, he showed me how my life had been filled with empty pursuits. His words were sharp and piercing....but true.  In the twilight of his life, he was not reminiscing about cars, or homes, or business success or all the material possessions he had accumulated. He was sharing with me his most valuable assets, his memories about his wife, his family and the people he loved. That's what he treasured. It wasn't the stuff, it was the people and the relationships. Out of all the people I have interviewed, no one has changed me so quickly, so deeply, so profoundly.

 Millard Gaddie died February 10, 2008 at the age of 105, just four months after this interview. It's strange how someone you barely know could have such a lasting impact on your life. In just a couple of hours, Mr. Gaddie showed me that I was living for all the wrong things. How, in the end, a life filled with the relentless pursuit of “stuff” is empty and pointless. He showed me not only how to live, but what to live for. I am forever changed. God bless you Mr. Gaddie, you have certainly blessed me.